Luge

How do you find out that you are good at luge and should start training for the Olympics?   Are you just the most kick ass sledder in your neighborhood?  Are you awesome at water slides?  Or are you just watching the winter Olympics cause there is absolutely nothing else on TV and notice that you too can sit on a sled and have gravity propel you down a chute?  You just know you can look like a bigger dildo than that Russian!  The sport would be a lot cooler if at the end of the slide it was the ski jump and they had to land a jump.  People would get hurt.  I would watch that.

Safeway Apples

Dear Safeway,

Is your produce department playing soccer with the red apples?   That can be the only explanation for their condition.   A horse would pass on some of those beat up excuses for apples.   Quality Control really needs a shake up.

All The Best,

Trying to be healthy and failing

Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies

How much herion are they allowed to put in this little buggers?  I cannot stop eating....