Home Depot Help

You have a better chance of finding a giraffe than finding someone to help you in Home Depot.

Hi-Chew

If I eat a package of these and don't eat a dumpster full of popcorn and start thinking Paulie Shore movies are funny, than this is false advertising.

Guy Fawkes

If you are on the lookout for complete throw away losers go to your nearest protest and find the douche wearing this mask.   These people are profesional agitators and anarchists.  "Hey!  Look at me, I am super hip and really know how to run a protest.  I am afraid of nothing, well except anyone knowing who I am because then they will know I still live with my parents."  "I saw a movie where a guy wearing this mask was a real badass so I must be one too huh?!?!"  Nope, you are terrible like the movie.   Get a job butt munch.  Even if that job is sellng those stupid masks.  When I see one of those masks at a protest, I am instantly against whatever the protesters want.   Their cause could be to save kids from being thrown into wood chippers and right when I see a Guy Fawkes mask I would be the first one hucking a kid into those insatiable jaws.  Honestly, screw these masks and the dorks wearing them.

Carpool

If this guy volunteers, I will pass.  Doors are overrated.  

Slow Burn

If you rock a flame paint job on you vehicle you should not be allowed to 55 on the highway.  You should be pulled over and have the flame paint job sand blasted off your car.  

Dish Drop Cheering Guy

Everyone has been in a restaurant when one of the servers drops a tray of dishes or drinks.  Then there is always the slap dick that starts either clapping or cheering this on.   I despise this person.  I can't decide whehter this is the bully from grade school trying to relive his heyday or the bullied kid from grade school finally being able to cheer somone else's misfortune.  Either way, you are a total nimrod.  I would love to grab one of those shards of glass and stick it in your eye.   The server feels bad enough about his or her mistake and does not need Sea Bass celebrating it.  Why don't you go find a local grade school and kick some ass in dodge ball loser.  

Ebola

Can someone please explain to me why we are still letting people in the country from West Africa?  I read some article today by some all knowing ass bag that said that if we did that, the disease will spread quicker.  What?   Huh?   Seriously, explain this to me.  If we quarantined people that had passports from Ebola hot zones, it will spread quicker!?!?!?   Are there editors that question nothing people put out anymore?  If I had the flu I would not go to the office.  Guess why…..cause I do not want to give anyone else the flu!!!  By this douche's logic I should go to work and lick everyone's space bar and cough in the coffee.   With his thinking the flu is unable to spread in my office now.   What am I missing?