Hamburgurlar Is Back

McDonald's just announced that the Hamburgurlar is coming back.  Back from the dead?  The original Hamburgurlar had to have died by congestive heart failure or stroke.  Just like Popeye's pal Wimpy.  

On this McDonald's mascot note, what the hell was Grimace supposed to be?  I know his name derives from the face you make five minutes after finishing your meal, but what was he?  I am pretty sure Gimaces' love child went to college with me.  I had a class with a girl that looked just like him minus being purple.  

Boulangerie

How the hell do you say this word?  What happened to bakery?

You Did Know You Were Going to Be on TV and not Radio?

There are a couple of possibilities here:

1) a spider fell on his head 2 seconds before they went live

2) his blind cousin is looking to get into hair styling and he did the blind guy a solid.

3) the boom mic has a vaacume attached to it.

4) he is a raging alcoholic

5) he does not GAF.

Swinger

Hate to burst your bubble but if you think you are a swinger but your wife does not know you are, you are not a swinger, you are a cheater.   Pretty sure if she was "swinging" and you did not know about it, you would not be super pumped.

Meal Replacement Smoothie

So at lunch I tried a client of mine's meal replacement smoothie.  Like the title says it is suppose to replace my lunch with this smoothie.  The only thing it has replaced is my normal walk to the bathroom with a full olympic sprint to the can.  This is going to take some getting used to.

Atomic Gas

The guy taking a growler in one of the stalls next to me farted so loudly that I dropped my phone.  At first I thought someone had driven a dumptruck into the bathroom.  I did not know if I should hit the deck or applaud the guy.   What was even more impressive was that he was a stall away.  He might have some O ring issues but I bet that felt amazing.

Peanut Butter and Chocolate

The reaction people give me when I tell them I do not like this combination is similar to the reaction I think I would get if I told them I believe the earth is flat.  It is utter amazement followed by ridicule.  They think I should be punished in some way.  It is not like I said I did not like pizza.  Those people should be put in internment camps a la WW 2.