Meal Replacement Smoothie

So at lunch I tried a client of mine's meal replacement smoothie.  Like the title says it is suppose to replace my lunch with this smoothie.  The only thing it has replaced is my normal walk to the bathroom with a full olympic sprint to the can.  This is going to take some getting used to.

Atomic Gas

The guy taking a growler in one of the stalls next to me farted so loudly that I dropped my phone.  At first I thought someone had driven a dumptruck into the bathroom.  I did not know if I should hit the deck or applaud the guy.   What was even more impressive was that he was a stall away.  He might have some O ring issues but I bet that felt amazing.

Peanut Butter and Chocolate

The reaction people give me when I tell them I do not like this combination is similar to the reaction I think I would get if I told them I believe the earth is flat.  It is utter amazement followed by ridicule.  They think I should be punished in some way.  It is not like I said I did not like pizza.  Those people should be put in internment camps a la WW 2.

Wash Your Hands

Shouldn't this sign read, "Everyone must wash your hands"?  It boggles my mind there are still sickos that don't wash their hands after handling their crank or wiping their poop chute.  This guy is kneading the dough for your pizza.

Cell Phone Clock

I do not wear a watch so I depend on my cell phone for the time.  When I am out and I need to time I will pull out my cell phone.  After checking texts and updates I put my phone back in my pocket still having no clue what time it is.  This happens at a bare minimum twice a day.   Please tell me this happens to other people or am I just a moron?

Left Shark

I love Left Shark.  That animal stole the show at the Super Bowl.  I wish Left Shark would eat Baxter the Dbacks mascot.  

Boxed Water

So this exists now.  Tasted like water.