Grocery Aisle

You should never park your grocery cart perpendicular in the grocery aisle.  Never, ever period.  You are not a beaver trying to plug up your dam so get the hell out of the way.  Next time I see someone do this, you are getting me at full ramming speed through your cart.  Kid in the cart, I don't care, he knows you were wrong too.  I don't care if I don't need to go down that aisle or not.  If I see your cart in that position, I am going Mad Max style crash your cart into next week.  Be aware, I am out there hunting.

Son of Sam

I just saw a documentary on the Son of Sam killer.  Obviously this guy was a pretty sick dude but he confessed that his next door neighbor's dog told him to do most of the killings.  Now, apparently,  the dog was not involved in any killings but the police did not even interview the dog.  I think that dog got off scott free.  That is BS.

Meeting

If you wanted to meet at your office we could of done it sometime when your whole office was not sick with the flu.   You do not tell people this after they are in the conference room.  We might as well met in an emergency room.  "I don't know, something is going around the office."  Really?!?!  You know where there is not something going around the office, my office.  If you wanted to do it at your office so bad you could have at least given us some full body hazmat suits so I don't get what the guy in the bathroom has.  It sounded like he was melting.

This Guy......

Is making up for something.

Back-in Parker

Unless you are a get away car driver, police officer, on a stake out, or stunt driver, you should never back in a space.  I have no problem with the person that pulls through one space into the space across so you are facing out.  That is good mostly because you tend to keep it in the lines.   The person who literally backs into the space, you are a jackass.  The time you are saving pulling out of the space you wasted pulling into the space.  You never get it in the space correctly and usually it takes a can opener for me to get into my car because you think you are James Bond.  Do you get a tingly feeling when you jump in your car and pull right out?  I get a tingly feeling watching the kid key your car for parking to close to his rig.  Maybe you are great at backing into parking spots but like fast fat people, you are a rarity.

Eddie!

Apparently someone keeps this guy in business. His wife/mom is kickin the Eddie pullover. Solid combo.

Baby/Wedding Showers

Ladies,

These parties are for females only!  No right minded male wants to go to your little party.  Honestly, we do not want guess what candy bar was spit into the diaper, we don't care about the game about how you met, or the ooooooohhs and ahhhhhhs everytime you hold up what you got as a gift.  You gals go have a blast and enjoy yourselves, just leave us out of it.

If you do force us to have to come to one of these "parties", please have tons of booze and a legit sporting event on somewhere.