Bumper Sticker

Where do you pick up a sticker like this? Why would you then put it on your car?

Rough Bar

You know that the bar you are at is pretty seedy when the toilet plunger looks like this. I feel sorry for the guy who is "dealing" with the broken off end.

Food Call

You start out your call by proclaiming that it took me long enough to call you back.  It took me a half hour toots, you do realize I have other calls that I have to return that I KNOW will be a lot more fruitful than yours.  Then you decide to ask me the questions you have for me all while stuffing your face with some uncertain type of food.   Are you kidding me tubby?  How about you put the snacks down for the five minutes we are on the phone?  If you cannot get the feedback off your fat face, then don't answer the damn phone.  You do realize how disgusting it is to listen to you smack your gums as I am trying to explain to you that you have no clue what you are talking about.  I am trying to be nice.  You can't hear me cause you are eating not because I am not talking loud enough.  Maybe your next call should be to Weight Watchers.   They might be able to help you out because I am absolutely unwilling to do.  Hope you choke.

Can I?

So I know this secretary, or whatever dumb PC term they are supposed to be called now, was trying to be funny but she enraged me when I asked if I can run off to the bathroom first before going back to see the dermatologist and she drops, "I don't know, CAN YOU?!?!?".   I almost peed on her desk at that point.  It brought me back to 4th grade and my teached coming back with that bogus line as if she taught me a lesson for not saying "may".  Look grammer police, don't pull this stunt anymore.  You will be lucky if all you get is number one on your keyboard.  You MAY want to call the janitor, or whatever retarded PC term they are called now, to help out with that turd.

Mascot

Congrats ASU, you officially have the worst/creepiest mascot in the country!