Baggage Claim

I could writw a book about the airport and how the whole place pisses me off but I will break it up into small posts every once in awhile. 

Let's start with Baggage Claim.   Is there a bigger cluster fuck in the whole airport then this area?  I know, the security line but I will deal with that in another post.  People lose all common sense at baggage claim.   Believe it or not jackass, other people have a black bag!   No need for you to grab everyone one of them off the carousel so you can check the name tag.  Then there is the dude that is protecting his three feet of carousel space like he is boxing out Shaq.  Or the moron who has seven bags coming out and no family. He has all his bags around him like a fort and no one else can get to their bags.  Unless you are on your way to hike Mt. St. Helens, you do not need all that gear, butthole.  Then there are the parents that think that at baggage claim they can let their kids roam free like they are at playground.  Kids running in and out of people and bags screaming bloody murder.  Then sure as shit, bonk, suitcase to the head.  The mom gives the guy trying to get his baggage of the merry go round a bad look as if he is in the wrong.  Like he is on the playground of this litttle devil's school whapping kids with his bag.  I want to stuff one of these little devils in my bag and see mom freak out when she can't find them, wha la, I grab the little tyrant out my bag and tell her to keep her eye on the little puke.  And no, I have no problem with kids.  I love well behaved kids.  I have a huge problem with entitled, terribly behaved, brats that have no sense of right and wrong.

Let's get back to baggage claim.  How about the man who will not help the lady out that is getting dragged down the carousel by her bag because it is too heavy.  Hey ass hat, help the lady out!  Oh, that is right, you don't want to leave your precious, kick ass spot right where the bags come out.  Speaking of that, why do people crowd the clown's mouth where all the bags come out like they are saving themselves a whopping 15 seconds there.  I would also like to talk to the person that announces what carousel the bags are coming out of.  Is it this hard to find someone that can speak english for this position?  Or maybe a person that is not giving head to the microphone so it all sounds like the same word?  Oh, and then the moron whose job it is to type out the reader board.  This guy is wrong more than weatherman.

I usually leave the baggage claim ready to fight someone I am so mad.  But there was this one time.  I remember it like a dream.  I was at the Las Vegas baggage claim at my denoted area to pick up my bags.  Then it happened......my bag came off first!  I almost shit myself.  I was running around the airport like I just won the lottery.  Might have been one of the best moments of my life.  Right until one of my co workers said, "You know it doesn't really matter, you had to wait for us anyway.  So it was like yours just came out when ours did."  I probably should have not told her that I hope she died this week but she tried to take my victory from me and that will not stand.

Needless to say, I hate the baggage claim.  There has to be a better way.  In this day in age when we can chat face to face with someone in Poland when I am in LA, we are still using the same method of delivering bags that we did in the seventies.