Dog Whisperer

I run into this guy and his dog at the park while walking my dog.   Within five minutes he is telling me what my dog is thinking and what he needs.  He says that my dog wants more time off the leash.  Oh really!?!?!?  Does he also like treats?  This guy is a regular psychic.  After that he tells me his dog and my dog have the same outlooks on life.   Fearing that he is about to rape my dog, I listen to this guy a little more before leaving in the opposite direction of this pervert.

It reminds me off the people at the dog park that are experts on canines because they taught their dog to sit. I appreciate that you think my dog is big and cute but I don't need advice on how to take care of my dog.  I don't give you advice on that shit storm you call a hair cut.   No, my dog does not need to eat raw lamb.  He eats dog food.  They will claim that the raw lamb makes their dog so much more happy and they would not eat anything other than raw food.  Really?  How come your dog is slurping up some other dog's ass chocolate right now?  Ya, your dog is brilliant.  Something tells me your dog is also a huge fan of peanut butter on certain parts of your body too.