Hey, I get that working out is better than sex to you but can we do without the grunts, screams, and extreme heavy exhales? I know that you are trying to get yourself pumped for your 20th round of bench but use your inside voice or maybe even nothing at all. I also don't think slapping your biceps is doing anything for you. Everyone looks at themselves in the mirror at the gym but you are a couple stares and glances away from slow dancing with yourself. Clean it up, the mirror is starting to get nervous. I am impressed that you can squat all that weight. You know what would impress me more? Running those sweat pants through the wash once every six months. You think you don't sweat but those sweats smell like the inside of a used coffin. I am happy that you are being healthy and taking care of yourself but it this is not your house so please be aware of other people. Also, don't look over at me and give me that little smirk that I am not as muslcular than you are. I don't want to look like that just like I don't want a "Bad Boy" sticker on my car like yours. We live in different worlds with differnt priorities. We share some space a couple of times a week, let's just make it enjoyable for all.
PS - Please take care of the New York City of all zits on your back. I think it winked at me today.
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